Everything just seems harder when you get older.
More responsibilities, more priorities, more planning and more temptations.
Some days when I'm my weakest, I see no joy in being independent and I see no joy in working so hard for myself.
Jealously sets in and disgustingly, I compare myself to them. Wondering how they can ask for money so easy and grow up without holding any part-time jobs to fend for their 'wants.'
So wrong, so helpless.
It tires me. The constant worries about how I am going to afford to pay for so many celebratory presents, how I make myself walk from places to places so my transport expenses would go down and how guilty I feel when I purchase a cup of yogurt or a bikini which are 'wants' and not exactly a 'need'.
It shouldn't be this way. Growing up shouldn't be this tough. You tell me to be satisfied with my life, to be pleased and thankful with what I have. You tell me not to feel jealous of my friends, who are travelling around the world and have never work hard enough to buy their own clothes.
You tell me that you should lower your expectations in life and learn to be satisfied. I think I am, but I'm so afraid that I am not able to satisfy people around me.
People whom I want to buy houses for, people whom I want bring to beautiful cafes and people whom have their birthdays once a year.
So please tell me, how I can be better, be better than my expectations for myself.
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