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Chilling with this song and Tumblr on this quiet Saturday.
Tumblr always leaves me with endless, open-ended thoughts.
The visual enjoyment eats my soul with excitement and carries me to a whole new level of imagination.
Similarity, it's becoming a habit to eagerly twitch my eyelids and log on to Instagram the moment I'm conscious in the morning.
Call me crazy but if my addiction isn't satisfied, I would stalk all my favourite accounts and refresh the 10x5 screen every 30 mins.
It also amuses me how I replied my friend that I want her photos as my souvenirs instead of savoury,flaky wife's biscuit before her HK trip.
There's so much envy,delight,ogling, yearning and urge to chance upon a picture-perfect shot.

 On the other hand, it terrifies me when I came to realization that electronic devices have slowly become part of our lives and 'someone' I spend more time with as compared to my loved ones.
It's definitely time to take a step back and look beyond the screen of mine and discover that perfect memories are those that will be always remembered without a hundred likes.

LET IT GO

Today, a mentor saw.
She saw that I take words too strongly, fear disappointments too quickly and worry too early.
She gave words of wisdom by reaffirming how assumptions usually lead to unnecessary pressure.
She reminded me that life, just like my arriving career is a endless journey. Most times, we would be caught in tasks that are overwhelming.
She emphasized that the way we look at life would be the definition of how we would lead it.
She told us that more than often she notices people around her doubting themselves and ended up exhausting themselves by putting in twice the required effort.
\

Right then, she made me realised that I tend to judge myself too easily.
Sitting there breathing in her wise words,  I know she's talking to my soul.
It seemed like she's telling me that it is time to try care a little lesser by taking a step back and taking things into my stride. 

She's telling me, it's going to be okay.

2014

The change of a new year haven't affected me much but deep down I know that I lost a couple of people. Some people stay but they seem far away, some further with just a little left for me reminisce. More than a couple of times, I wish that I would forgo my pride with that little courage and to stop struggling with the meaningless assumptions to the answers. I wish I would pick up my phone and wished the other parties had waiting on the other line.

Things changed and people changed. I'm not who I am 1 year back,1 month back or maybe I have changed to think that I do not have to be. Priority changes and undeniably I give up on things/people I feel less comfortable with.  Friendship in my university life is build on a base of formality and compliments instead of laughter and the exchange of insults. It sucks when I sit here, reflecting on this reality that I should have change many months back.
To express my train of thoughts to a certain someone, to arrange dates with many I have missed and to start insulting people before making friends with them.

Typing all these string of words have also made me realised a more than a handful of friends whom I had grown closer to and the ones whom I can act like a bitch in front of.
Not to forget my companion of nearly a year, whom stayed by me to replace all  my insecurities and lonely days. It's been such a pleasant journey with him.
 I know many people like to assume that a girl needs no one but their boyfriend but I really beg to differ. I don't want to have guy friends only when I lose my partner because that's totally cynical.

So before another year passes by in a blink of an eye,
I wish to add another resolution to my list of three.

Bangkok; 2013

Bangkok, a city so full of complications. This virgin trip was such an eye-opening experience. Walking through one-way streets with vehicles 1m close to you, getting into a nudies bar, drinking at a ping-pong show, experiencing taxi drivers who are dishonest, speeding tuk-tuks, hardworking hawkers selling meat skewers in the wee hours and many who sits at the end of the overhead bridge begging for money in the cold with their children on the floor.

 

(Above is a picture of a family selling food by the road. It was so heart-warming to see how the young children were taught to stay by the store to help their mum.)

  A night flea outside of Major Cineplax at Bangkok. This was the highlight of the trip where the locals lay pieces of mats on the street to sell hand-crafted and customisable items. I also love the fact that there was a live band playing at the beautiful street coupled with quaint cafes and restaurants around the area.

Most importantly, it wasn't a popular tourist site and we were greeted with reasonable prices.

(Note: We went there on a Friday night!)

 Pratunam Wanton Noodles. Lived up to it's name. Can't figure out what made it so tasty but I reckon there's minimal pork lard in the soup/ noodles.
One definitely isn't enough for the big eater (:

 Charcoal grilled fish
A stall outside of my boutique. Food are usually grilled on charcoal and displayed without any coverage.
I say... go for them. It's dirt-cheap and extremely tasty!

Greyhound Cafe; Tomyam soup, Pad Thai, Thai Seafood pasta(!!!!) & Spinach Ravioli

Siam Centre Lvl 3

Mr Jones Orphange; Mudpie & Blueberry cheesecake

Siam Centre Lvl 1

 Siam Centre Goodness.Left the other couple to catch up on some atas food on the second last day. These two cafes are popular among many Singaporeans and we are on total agreement with our people! Both restaurants has definitely met our expensive tastebuds but if you are not particular about food, skip them for some more shopping at Platinum! (:

Thai Mookata at Terminal 21.  

Thai Steamboat with minimal soup saddens me. 

 Asiatique Riverfront.
A typical tourist site with a beautiful sea view for a romantic night walk and cold sea breeze. Not too sure about visiting this place in the afternoon.

To sum it off, I am still unable to answer when my friends ask me about the probability of me returning. I definitely dislike the feeling of  always being on the look-out for robberies, vehicles, and how the city portrays itself with such a dangerous image. Many at times, It was also painful for me to witness people at desperation for comfort while I was helpless to their needs.

On the other hand, I'm drawn to their laid-back lifestyle, my ability to having a higher purchasing power and the accessibility to different places in the shortest time with the abundance of public transport on the road. 

Bangkok had been good while it lasted and so much goes to the credit of those who kept me safe and  shared new experiences with me, be it ugly or good. 

Thank you xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 It's unbelievable how 2013 is coming to an end and yes, being 21 is absolutely worth celebrating for.

Not for the branded wallet, the branded bags or ang baos but the fact that I am so damn fortunate for having beautiful people around.

I think I am a pretty lucky girl. Typing while I sit next to this beautiful and big-hearted woman who taught me to be who I am today. Nope, not the smartest, sexiest nor the slyest but she taught me how to look at life and appreciate it simply. To be humble, kind and giving. 

Family. A tight one just with a few aunties and cousins is enough to keep my belly full of warm, home-cooked meals with lots of long stories and new beginnings.

9 years of friendship. To have a bunch of friends whom know you for at least 6 years. Change you throughout and watch you change. The kind of friends whom you can laugh with and laugh at. The kind who did cry for you and make you cry. This friendship must be the greatest gift I have received and to have 10 of them, it's a jackpot.

Then you have this person. Whom had never caught much of your eyes. Whom you did rather hug than kiss. Whom you did rather like than love. Who knew? He turned out to be the best gift of the year.

While you wish upon a better you,

I wish upon a happier us.

Forever 21 xx

I don't know what to do

Have you ever felt that way?
When you are perfectly in love but you just take everything way too seriously?
How you can't stop thinking that nothing will eventually be okay?
It's so complicated this thing love is.
You hate it, you dislike it yet it pesters you and sticks on you like a bloody leech.

Sometimes I really wished I was a little more naive, a little more insensitive.
I wished I wouldn't be able to feel so attached to someone, I wished I wouldn't wish on empty streets, I wish beautiful illusions wouldn't appear at the back of my head before bed.
I wish I was all that less emotional.
So that I wouldn't get bruised but little remarks, so that I wouldn't get overwhelmed by small surprises and make big dreams out of them.

I hate weakness in my bones, insecurity flowing through me and all that tears that stings the eyes to my soul.
I don't know what to do.

What can I do?

How Long Will I Love You

And I thought, I have to share.
The kind of song which reads my tired soul, holds my anxiety and brings me to the good old memories at the cinema.

Everything I want now, as simple as it seems.

We're all traveling through time together
Every day of our lives
All we can do is do our best
To relish this remarkable ride