Yes,2013 came before i could leave one of the cliché post and make another i-am-going-to-lose-fats resolution.
The start of 2013 was teary and never did i expect myself to attend a funeral on the morning of my new year.
Nevertheless, the pain was like a wake-up call. It made me want to scream at every self-pitying friend on Twitter that never fail to tweet about how they are upset over some stupid little incident. It made me want to tell all my friends that life is unpredictable and they should stop saying because 'I'm afraid..'
It's almost unreal that i'm going to turn 21 this year. Even though I don't think it will impact me because my daily schedule has already made me an 'adult' who needs to constantly hold back the 16-year old wild angel in me,it's hard to avoid the fact that my responsibilities are increasing.
Every weekend, i am constantly screaming to myself when i clean up the house.
I miss the days when i could just study in my room and wait for my mother to give me my weekly allowance. I miss the days when i am able to fall in love so easily with a boy,without the need to know that a failed relationship is heart-wrenching.
I miss the days when i would be teased in class and it would end up being awkward and the class would just laugh together.
Now,working is so hectic i think i might just forget what's laughter.
Now, all my mum and I talk about is about money(i rather she ask me about my results).
Now, i forgot how it feels to be pampered.
Now, I worry about how i am going to survive for the month when it's just too embarrassing to ask my mum to lend me some cash after too-many-celebrations.
Now, i worry about how to make sure that i am setting a good example and how the rest of the world is going to judge me as a teacher.
It's never going to be easy, I knew it from the start when she taught me to be strong.
But she always taught to be independent, to be self-contended and to be a person who is giving and loving.
Life has became increasingly challenging over time and the Korea trip only made realise how lucky am i to have of supportive family . A bunch of nagging aunties who might never stop being annoyingly caring, to have cousins whom never fails to make fun out of the boring tour schedule and the amazing supermother who paid for my whole trip.
These are people whom will still love me even if my eyebrows look weird without the eyebrow shadow, people whom i am perfectly comfortable prancing about in my a baby pink heartshape pjs, people whom i can jump and act retarded when the snow was too beautiful and people whom might see my worse but will stay for the rest of my life.
2012 was one of the best year. Think i will make 2013 even better.
Live unrestrained, make someone smile every single day.
xx
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